My Excuse

Maria Kang is one hot momma, and she isn’t afraid to show it. She’s been taking a lot of heat from other moms after posting this photo of herself and her children on her blog and facebook page. It’s not so much the photo people seem bothered by; but, rather, it’s her choice of words. It seems that instead of celebrating her own success, she is pointing out the lack of success of others. 


My initial reaction to this photo was the same as every other mom who doesn’t look like that. I was pretty pissed. After Lady Envy left the room, I was intrigued. 

I have never looked like that. Not when I was 16, not through university, not even when I was hitting the gym on a daily basis in my early 20s. I don’t know if I’ll ever look like that. But, then again, I’ve never tried looking like that. It has never been a priority in my life, and it continues to be pretty low on my To Do list.

And, that’s exactly it, Ms. Kang, that’s my excuse.

I don’t look like you because my priorities are different than yours.

There is an undeniable societal pressure to be a hot momma. Losing your baby weight is a topic of concern for most pregnant women, who desperately try to ensure they gain no more than 30lbs during their pregnancy. There is something shocking about a woman who has managed to carry a baby for 9 months, but appear as if she hasn’t. That’s not Maria Kang’s fault. She is a product of mass media. She is the product of the superficial society we live in. And, she’s using that shock factor to market herself.

The truth is we live in a society where priorities have been shuffled. No one appreciates or applauds the mothers that put their children first. She is seen as the fat, frumpy mom at the park. They can’t see past her sweatpants, tired eyes, and dishevelled hair. If they could see past her exterior, they’d see she hasn’t lost her baby weight yet because her milk supply is compromised when she watches what she eats or burns too many calories. They would see her dishevelled hair is a result of the hours she’s spend playing with her child, singing songs while crawling around in the sandbox. They would see her tired eyes are shadowed with circles because she doesn’t nap when baby naps; instead, she uses the time to make sure her family eats fresh, home-cooked meals everyday. They would see she hasn’t spent a single waking or sleeping moment away from her child because she knows there isn’t a nanny in the world that will love and care for her baby like she does.

So, if you haven’t breastfed your baby for 18 months, spent hours engaging in stimulating play, made fresh home-cooked meals every day, or spent every waking moment showering your baby with love, my question for you is: WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?

But, that’s not a fair question for me to ask. That question is loaded with judgment and a superior eye aiming to shame. The truth is, there are only so many hours in the day, and we’ve got to prioritize. If your fitness and health is a priority in your life, that’s awesome; but, understand that others may have different priorities, and a body shape different than yours needs no ‘excuse’.

Published by Anjali Joshi

Anjali Joshi is a science educator, author, and lifelong learner. She is mom to two curious boys who keep her on her toes!

6 thoughts on “My Excuse

  1. I love that you stood up for all of us “other” moms without being defensive and inferior. Your posts are open minded and thoughtful. I am subscribing!!! :)))

  2. I don’t think MK meant to offend anyone. She was flaunting her hot body. I know I would if I looked liker her!!!!

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